True intimacy in romantic relationships goes far beyond mere passion. It’s about building a deep emotional connection with your partner, one rooted in trust, vulnerability, and mutual understanding.
Lisa Anderson, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Clinical Director, Brooks Healing Center, Tennessee, USA, says intimacy is more than just physical closeness. This includes emotional, intellectual, and, for some people, even spiritual bonds.
“At the beginning of a relationship, intimacy can be exciting and passion-driven,” she says. “Over time, it evolves into a stable, deeper relationship built on shared experiences, open communication, and a sense of partnership. This development is natural and often reflects the growth and maturity of the relationship.”
If you feel like your intimacy is waning and you want to rekindle it, Anderson suggests the following ways to bring it back into your life.
One way to maintain intimacy and the bond between relationships is to ensure open, two-way communication with your partner, where you both feel heard and understood.
“Good communication is essential to fostering intimacy,” Anderson explains. “One of the most important skills is active listening – listening to your partner without interrupting or thinking about what you will say next.”
Anderson suggests:
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Using “I” Statements – Saying “I feel sad when…” instead of “You always…” can help express feelings without making your partner feel defensive.
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regular check-in – Spaces where you both share your feelings or discuss concerns are important for staying connected.
She adds, “Don’t underestimate the power of appreciation and gratitude.” “Letting your partner know that you value them can go a long way in strengthening your bond.”
Life changes, such as having children, changing careers, or moving to a new community, can create challenges in maintaining intimacy.
However, Anderson says they can also be opportunities for growth.
“Again, open communication is important during these times,” she says. “Talk about your fears, expectations, and needs, and make sure you’re talking to each other regularly.”
“A willingness to embrace and support each other through these changes can strengthen your partnership,” she says.
Financial pressures, career demands, and unresolved conflicts – among other factors – can all put a strain on intimacy.
To deal with these challenges, Anderson suggests that you start by acknowledging the issues without blaming each other.
“Set boundaries around work or other stressors to make sure you make time for the relationship,” she advises. “When conflict arises, focus on finding solutions together rather than pointing fingers.
“Scheduling regular ‘unplugged’ time — without phones or intentionally planning date nights — can help rekindle your connection. It’s important to be proactive and intentional about maintaining your bond.”
Many people place importance on maintaining physical intimacy in a relationship. Some people believe that feelings of love and desire are necessary to maintain a romantic relationship.
“Surviving physical intimacy requires effort but can be a lot of fun,” says Anderson. “Start by prioritizing physical touch in everyday moments.”
To maintain or rekindle physical intimacy, she suggests the following:
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hold hands, hug or embrace – Helps maintain a feeling of closeness.
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try new experiences together – Whether it’s exploring a new hobby, traveling to a new place, or experimenting with ways to connect physically.
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Communications – Talk openly about your desires, fantasies, and any changes in your needs.
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scheduling intimate time – It ensures that physical relationship remains a priority even in the busiest of lives.
Taking care of yourself and staying healthy puts you in a stronger position to strengthen your relationship.
“When you take care of yourself, you come across as a better partner,” says Anderson. “Self-care helps you manage stress, regulate emotions, and maintain energy, all of which contribute to a healthy relationship.”
She recommends that you both encourage each other to prioritize activities that promote well-being — like regular exercise, hobbies, or practicing mindfulness.
“Couples can also share self-care — like cooking a healthy meal, taking a walk, or attending a yoga class,” says Anderson. “Supporting each other in self-care benefits you as a person and strengthens the bond between two people.”
Deepening intimacy takes work, but sometimes even our best efforts can leave us feeling incomplete. In these moments, seeking help from a professional is a healthy option.
Anderson advises that if intimacy feels strained and efforts to reconnect are not working, you should consider couples therapy.
“Frequent fights, breakdowns in communication, or feelings of disconnection are all signs that therapy may be beneficial,” she says. “Couples therapy provides a safe, neutral space to explore underlying issues, improve communication, and develop strategies for rebuilding intimacy.”
Every relationship is unique, and a therapist can provide the individual support and guidance you need to foster a more fulfilling relationship.
Anderson explains: “Asking for help is not a sign of failure. It’s a proactive step toward strengthening your partnership and building a deeper connection.”
With time and effort, there are many ways to maintain intimacy in your relationship. Focus on open communication, adaptability, and genuine connection to create a strong, loving bond with your partner.
“Maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship takes effort, but the rewards are worth it,” says Anderson. “When challenges arise, ask for support – whether from each other or a professional. Intimacy takes development, but with the right care and attention it can become even more powerful over time.”
