Overwhelm is one of the most disabling parts of bipolar for me – not because I’m “bad at coping,” but because my brain is increasingly affected by overload. Bipolar stress can come from my mood state, bipolar symptoms or even medication side effects. Overall, those things make up a lot of my everyday experience, and it frustrates me a lot. However, I have found that there are techniques to combat bipolar crisis. If you’ve ever been stuck – can’t decide, can’t start, can’t even Start – This is for you. Here’s what a bipolar crisis looks like, why it happens, and my practical toolbox for getting through it.
Why is Bipolar Overwhelm so Strong?
As I said, there are many sources of overload in bipolar disorder.
- Bipolar moods: Whether you’re depressed, hypomanic, manic, or mixed, that emotional state can overshadow every other thing in your life. In all cases, your brain may be so focused on your mood that there isn’t room for anything else. The whole reason bipolar disorder is a mental illness is that we experience things turned up to level 11 on a regular basis.
- Bipolar Symptoms: Not only can a full-blown mood take over your brain, but sometimes even a single symptom can do so. For example, if you are experiencing an inability to make decisions because of depression, you may be disabled.
- Side effects of the medicine: Although medication is important in treating bipolar disorder, it is never free. For example, a common side effect is akathisia: an internal and external restlessness. This “itchy” feeling can overpower everything else.
Remember: being overwhelmed is not laziness. This is overload.
Of course, there are many lifestyle factors that can make anyone feel heavy. Excessive stress due to work, home or social life can be the cause, sadness is another source, or major changes are examples of things that can make someone experience maximum stress.
What does Overwhelm look like in real life
And while everyone may feel overwhelmed, that doesn’t mean it’s a harmless situation — especially if it’s extreme. When I get really overwhelmed, I feel like everything stops. I can’t accomplish anything. I can’t take any decision. I can’t go out. I think it’s linked with anxiety as I become more and more aware of how little I’m doing. And the anxiety increases even more.
Being overwhelmed may look like this:
- Stay in bed with a veil over your head and shut yourself away from the world
- Not responding to phone calls or texts
- Not opening mail or email, not listening to voicemail, etc.
- Being unable to start new work or begin unfinished work
- Being unable to make simple decisions like what to eat for dinner
- Seeing a growing list of unfinished tasks in front of you, which could include things like an un-walked dog or a lack of clean underwear
Feels like a deer in headlights. My brain freezes into a useless piece of ice. Can’t find ideas.
Additionally, when I feel overwhelmed, my brain tries to convince me that I am failing. I am not. I am overloaded.
The goal is not to “gain power.” The goal is to minimize input, pick a priority, and take the smallest step that keeps me safe and moving, not exhausting myself.
5 Minute Reset: Reduce Stress and Arousal
Start here when you’re overwhelmed (60-120 seconds):
- Change input: Dim the lights/reduce noise/cool the room if you can
- Choose a goal: “What’s the smallest thing that helps me in the future?”
- Take a subtle step: Set a timer for two minutes and stop when it’s finished
One of the first things I do when trying to melt my brain ice is to remove as much stress as possible and reduce external stimuli. For example, if I have three (or 30) tasks to do, I prioritize them. I focus only on the high priority ones and allow the rest to be ignored for the time being. To help with this, I can create multiple task lists, each with different priority, so I don’t have to look at items I’m not focused on. For example, I might have lists for today, this week, and this month. I can adjust things as needed.
Part of it is also actively seeking expansion where I can. For example, if three things are due at the end of the month, I might try to get an extension on two of them to reduce the extra pressure. People are usually flexible if you just communicate.
I also work to remove excess stimuli. It’s really easy to add bright lights and loud noises to a bipolar environment. If I can find myself in a quiet, cool, dark place, it feels like there is more room to think. (Some people find that a really messy environment can also add to the problem. If this is you, try decluttering a corner or a room. This can be a safe space for you while you tackle the rest.)
My Bipolar Overwhelm Toolbox (Small Steps That Work)
Once I’ve done the above, I can begin to use specific techniques to calm my overwhelmed bipolar brain.
- I break things into parts. Seeing something big is naturally overwhelming. However, when I break things down into smaller parts, each part seems more doable.
- I only do a small part at a time. Cooking an entire dinner can seem overwhelming, and it may keep you from eating the healthy food your body needs. To combat this, I can prepare the kitchen for cooking at one point, prepare ingredients at another point, cook whatever I can ahead of time, and then cook the proteins at the end. Each of those steps is easier than doing them all alone (plus I can take rest in between if needed).
- I imagine being successful. I can envision myself taking the necessary steps to move forward. It actually makes them more possible. Writing down each small part can also be helpful, because seeing them in front of me helps me realize that I can do them.
- I plan work. I may find it difficult to take a bath. To make it more doable, I break it into parts and then do those parts ahead of time as best I can. I lay out my bath mat on the floor, prepare my towel, and post-shower clothes ahead of time.
- I build on success. Once I’ve accomplished a task, no matter how small, I congratulate myself on the victory, and use it as motivation to continue (or rest as needed).
- I feel supported. Sometimes, having another person around is enough to distract my mind from Amber. Yes, that person can help me complete a task, which is great, but their mere presence can make the little things easier. Discussing a task or the cause of my discomfort can also help.
- I reach out to professionals. If my discomfort is persistent or intractable, it’s really important to reach out to my care team and discuss it with them. A doctor can provide you with helpful tools, and if a symptom or side effect is causing a problem, a change in medication may be needed.
You can overcome heaviness
If you can only take one small step, take one small step. That matters.
Although I regularly experience stress for various reasons, I still think I can deal with it using the above methods.
When pressure comes, do you freeze, avoid, or spiral? And what’s that little thing that helps?
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