As a mother, you want to boost your daughter’s self-confidence. In a world that can be scary for women, the secret to success is having a strong sense of self-worth. So, of course, Raising kids who feel good about themselves It’s a secret weapon they can use when you’re not around.
As a survivor of abuse, My biggest fear about having a daughter was similar to that of many others trying to be a good mother. My first fear was that if I had a girl, how would I be able to recognize her in a healthy way? My second was that if I have difficulty loving myself, how can I model self-love well for her? So I decided that before the world gets to it, here are the nine things I’m telling my daughter over and over again.
I constantly tell my daughter these 9 things because the world won’t do it:
1. ‘You are amazing in every way every day’
Deciding to raise my daughter was no small decision. When I was a child, I was told that if I ever got pregnant it would be difficult for me to have children. Three complicated pregnancies, a near-fatal event with preeclampsia, and three premature babies later, my health did not allow tubal ligation to prevent me from getting pregnant a fourth time.
When my health improved, I learned that I was expecting my fourth child. Although I knew abortion was an option, I thought that if this baby made it through my birth control methods, she deserved to be here. Your daughter needs to hear that you think she is the most amazing thing on this planet (to you).
2. ‘You were born to do amazing things’
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When I held my daughter for the first time, I saw a small lump – an embryonic cyst – Above his eye. Yes, babies are generally born little old men, but my daughter had a seriously uphill battle to climb: She was born with barely any hair, and looked as if the side of her head had been hit with a block. The mass above his eye screamed for attention — and, worse, it grew. The doctors told me that it would have to be removed when she grew up.
Tell your daughter that she has potential. Research on the impact of strong environment On girls’ future success, the study showed the need to “change gender norms and create an enabling environment for girls to reach their potential”, with the study explaining the importance of empowering girls during adolescence, when gender attitudes are becoming entrenched.
3. ‘Your mind is amazing’
From a beautiful mind to a gorgeous inner spirit, a woman reveals all that she feels inside. For most of my life, I didn’t grow up with that kind of confidence. I grew up with a generation of parents who believed that negative feedback would force me to work harder so I could prove them wrong.
Part of being a woman is having a strong sense of body awareness. I don’t know if I’ve ever met a woman who doesn’t sometimes go to war with her self-image. Research has helped show How a woman’s confidence is linked to her beauty identity. So, remind your daughter that looks are just one part of her amazing sauce.
4. ‘You are brave’
I grew up feeling insecure and like I always had to prove myself worthy of everything I got. I wanted to change my mother-daughter relationship and give my daughter the confidence I lacked, and connect with her in a way I felt I couldn’t.
I believed that if I had experienced the unconditional love that was communicated to me daily, through words focused on my body, I might have believed it. Your daughter needs to hear this from you He has everything he needs to succeed.
5. ‘You are the most beautiful person in the world because of your personality’
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I wanted my daughter to hear from her mother that she was beautiful. I wanted the inner voice of her soul to celebrate all her quirks whenever she looked in the mirror. If babies in the womb can be inspired to walk by their mother, I believe a baby outside the womb can be inspired to have confidence and solid self-esteem.
I decided that every night as I rocked her to sleep, I would tell her that she was beautiful inside and out. It became a ritual. I’ll bathe him, dress him in PJs, and rock him to sleep. I’ll point to her nose and say, “It’s beautiful.”
Then, to the bulge on his head, “It’s beautiful.” Then, to her feet, said, “It’s beautiful.” I told her that everything that a girl who grows up feeling insecure about her body is beautiful. Her nostrils, her toenails, the knuckles of her knuckles – beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
By the time she was able to identify things like her fingers, toes, and shoulders, I would ask her, “What’s beautiful?” And then she would tell me. I could see in her eyes that she believed she was beautiful. I honestly felt that he had absorbed a confidence that I never had before. instill values in your daughter The idea that beauty comes from within.
6. ‘Your thoughts matter’
One day, she came home from daycare and asked me for macaroni and cheese, “Ms. V called me ugly.” My daughter pointed to the bulge in her eye. “They said it was ugly,” he said. Over the next few days, I watched my little girl go from happy to insecure hot mess. That was me. After all, how did one person’s opinion steal his happiness?
How can anyone have more power over her heart than me? I decided to seek help from everyone I knew who loved him. I called my mother, her elder brothers, cousins and friends. I told her what happened and asked, “Can you tell her that you love her and that she looks beautiful every time you see her?”
At first it seemed ridiculous. Wouldn’t telling her every day that she’s beautiful make her shallow or self-absorbed? We were about to find out. What I learned from research is that it takes time It takes a long time to rebuild a woman’s confidence After it is lost. In a world where your daughter needs to speak, be the first to allow her to use her words.
7. ‘I love how you learn and grow from experience’
It took him another four years to regain his confidence. After the first year, she still didn’t feel beautiful. He did not reject the notion, but he did not respond. In the second year, she started nodding and smiling when asked.
By the third year, if you called her ugly, she would look at you and boldly ask you if something was wrong. The first time I saw her go through a situation where she walked away smiling confidently even after being called ugly on the playground, I realized that the mantra worked. Help your daughter see mistakes and problems as a process that is worth the tears.
8. ‘You make the world a better place’
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I saw a mother enter the shop with a bouncing little girl, radiating happiness. The mother criticized her daughter’s appearance without even looking at her. His daughter was embarrassed.
Without meaning to, the mother erased whatever confidence-building efforts she had made with her daughter in the past, and she turned me into an ally. I decided to compliment the girl and her mother. The little girl then smiled and went back happy. I learned a valuable lesson.
Encourage your daughter to see herself as part of a community, so she doesn’t feel isolated. Research has been strengthened The importance of feeling a sense of community to empower girls.
9. ‘My life changed in the best way when you arrived’
My daughter was not unique. All girls need this connection. Emotionally wounded girls grow up to be emotionally wounded women. An emotionally wounded girl can become an over-confident woman when her self-love is restored with words that make her grow.
If you have a daughter, You can boost her self-esteem with your unconditional love And kind words. When you tell your daughter every day how important she is to you, she will know that you always appreciate her presence in your life.
Aria Gimmiter is YourTango’s senior editor for horoscopes and spirituality. He graduated from the Midwestern School of Astrology and has been a practicing astrologer for over 40 years.
