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“There is a space between stimulus and response. In that space lies our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl
For a long time, my first reaction to difficulty was a single, anguished question: “Why should I?”
It comes to the fore when life takes unexpected turns – when plans collapse, when efforts do not succeed, when circumstances seem unfair and overwhelming. I believed that if I could understand Why Something was happening, I would somehow fix the situation and regain control. That answer will soften the blow.
But this never happened.
One experience, in particular, changed my relationship with that question.
I remember one such period very well.
In 2004, I had just started my interior design practice. Work was picking up, projects were active, and life—though busy—felt rewarding. Then one morning I woke up feeling dizzy, had a severe headache and was blacked out for a while. I dismissed it as exhaustion. But the symptoms continued.
After several tests, I was diagnosed with a condition called BIH – a neurological disorder characterized by high pressure in the brain, which puts pressure on the optic nerve. If left untreated it can cause permanent blindness. I needed immediate hospitalization and complete rest.
I was admitted for treatment for ten days and then given steroids for six months. At a time when my career had just started, I was being asked to stop. I had active projects, new clients, responsibilities that I couldn’t easily abandon.
One day in the hospital, overwhelmed and angry, I found myself screaming the familiar question: “Oh God, why me?”
I tried to find the answer. Actually, I was quite disappointed. I turned to ideas like karma and talked to some therapists and healers, hoping they would provide some perspective or comfort. Instead, he interrogated and added layers. One explanation led to another. What lesson did I have to learn? What did I do to deserve this? Instead of helping, the search for meaning only made things heavier and more complicated.
Then I didn’t realize “Why me?” I was not able to cope; On the contrary, it was keeping me trapped. It drew my attention to comparisons and quiet outrage, and left me waiting for answers that never came.
One evening, as I was lying in a hospital bed, exhausted from overthinking, watching the sunset from my living room window, something changed. I felt the fog around me lift, and another question quietly emerged: What now?
That question changed everything. It didn’t take away my fear or despair, but it did give me something solid to hold on to. I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling – scared, helpless, frustrated – and then I assessed the situation honestly and started taking action.
I called my customers and told them the reality. I coordinated remotely, asking my assistant and contractor to meet me at the hospital to clarify details, and ensure that the work continued without risking my health. I relaxed, focused on healing and accepted that this was the situation I had to deal with, not fight.
That was “my first real experience of the power ofWhat now?”
Over the years, I have returned to that question many times. Whenever life feels stuck or burdensome, it brings me back to the only place where something can really be done – the present moment.
“What now?” Doesn’t ask for big plans or absolute clarity. It demands honesty. It asks what is the next right step given the available energy and resources Today. Some days, that step is practical. Some days, it’s emotional. And some days, it’s simply choosing not to add more fear to an already difficult situation.
I’ve learned that acceptance is often misunderstood. This is not resignation. It is not giving up. It is accepting what is without wasting energy fighting reality. Transportation becomes possible from that place.
in the last few years“What now?” It became an exercise on the ground rather than a solution. On difficult days, it helped me stay present without denying how hard things were. On better days, it reminded me to act slowly and deliberately rather than wait for certainty.
Asking “now what?” taught me:
- I don’t need an answer to move on.
- Small, honest steps matter more than absolute clarity.
- Acceptance creates space for choice, not inaction.
- Often being present is enough.
I still ask myself, “Why should I?“When life feels unfair or tiring. But now I recognize it as a sign—not as something I should swallow. A sign that I’m tired, hurt, or in need of pity. When it happens, I don’t debate the question. I gently accept it.
And then I return again and again to the question that has helped me move forward.
“What now?“
I may never have all the answers. But I’ve learned that I don’t need them to live a meaningful life. When life presents questions I cannot solve, it is enough to answer what I can.
Sometimes, that’s all we really need.
About Aruna Joshi
Aruna Joshi is the author of four books, an emotional wellness advocate, and the voice behind Zen Whispers, a blog for deeply feeling souls who crave gentleness, truth, and clarity. Through personal stories and tender thoughts, she helps readers feel less alone in their internal struggles. you can find it here thezenwhispers.substack.com.
